Table Tuesday: Translated Wrong

Your gaming group is sitting around playing your favorite roleplaying game. Suddenly, an interdimensional vortex opens and you find yourselves translated … incorrectly … into characters in a strange melange of science fiction and fantasy. Who, or what, are you now?

Table 13: Translated Wrong

Roll Result
1 Legends say that the Fae left and went to West, but the truth is that the Fae chose to pass into a singular vessel, living out their endless lives in one final mortal experience before passing into oblivion. You are the Faehost, the bearer of all the Fae souls. While this brings great power, there is a constant battle for control of your mind as the more powerful Fae attempt to take control of the body that holds the fate of the Fae in their hands.
2 You have become a Cleric of the Void, a follower of the Nothingness that exists beyond space and time, a place beyond all deities. You can draw upon tremendous power, but it is fickle and often does not respond, and often does so at great cost to yourself in both physical and/or mental strain. Your cause is to see all rent asunder in preparation for the End of All Things, for that is the truth of everything: All that is created must be destroyed for the cycle to start again.
3 Encased in your suit of Titanmage armor, you are a Stellar Knight and a representative of The Universal Authority. Your mission is to convert the heathen masses to The Doctrine. But you’re low on ammunition and power and almost everything you interact with breaks at least a dozen Laws according to the Doctrine. You will prevail!
4 Small, twisted, foul-faced, you are a heavily disliked by all. Some take you to be one of the goblinoid races, but you are in fact a Twisted Attorn, one of the last of a race of master manipulators of words and letters. Your ability to understand the language of complex mathematics as well as archaic languages also allows you to create powerful binding contracts between mortals and creatures of the lower nether realms, allowing you to call upon their demonic help as needed.
5 You are an animals! At least a dozen different animals have been stitched together using strange magicks to create… whatever you are. Fully sentient, you are the chimera of chimeras, a jigsaw animal brought to life, a frankenbeast. Should any part of your body be damaged beyond repair, it can be replaced by parts taken from other animals. You are effectively undead and everliving, but constantly crave the taste of fresh flesh and blood, as you are a slave to your base animal instincts.
6 Where once there was one there are now a dozen. You are now a hive mind of small miniature humanoids that are six inches tall called Lilliputs that speak to each other telepathically. Each of the humanoids have a distinct personality and skill set (slightly diminished in power due to their small stature against norms), but all of can work together to solve problems as a group. You are the last of your kind, as you are especially prized as savory sweets by several giant races.
7 Your body has been transformed into that of a human sized snail, but no ordinary snail at that! You are now one of the Twelve Snail Lords of Gabroon, mighty wizards who wield The Power of Na! Your potent water and metal magic allows you to create powerful chemical reactions that sends your enemies running in fear. You are also an awesome cook.
8 An experiment in merging the mind of a dragon with that of a lesser alien race known only as the Quortha, you are slowly unlocking the powerful dragon abilities. Your Quorthan abilities allow you to shapeshift into any mundane organic or inorganic object, and still retain your dragonmind, allowing you to cast magic. But the longer you stat in a single form, the more difficult it is to change to another form, therefore you must constantly change form every 12-48 hours.
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